It's An Animal House!!

How's it going, future fans? My sincerest apologies for not posting last night, but I was busy partying.
OK, I know I said my frat wasn't that crazy, but we went all-out last night. By all out, I mean National-Lampoon all out. TOGA, TOGA, TOGA!!!! Everyone on campus was invited to it, and Irene showed up. Despite the insanity, I actually remained sober, because Diet Coke is my vice. I can really just work myself into a partying state of mind, without the help of anything other than caffeine.
There was one issue, however. One of my ex's showed up, and was kind of obnoxious. By obnoxious, I mean she smashed her beer bottle and threatened me with it. To be totally honest, I was scared out of my mind.
I had been in the kitchen with Irene, when Jane, my ex, stumbled in. She started screaming random nothings about how I "broke her heart" and all that stuff. She was VERY drunk, and she had a bottle of Rolling Rock in her hand. I thought she was too drunk to function, and I was gonna just let her simmer down, but she suddenly smashed her bottle and brought it up to my face. She started screaming about how she was going to mess my face up, and how no one would want me after that (obviously, that was radio-edited). Lucky for me, Tony, one of my frat bros, came in and talked her down. Right after she put the bottle down, she passed out, which was good. We threw her on the sofa in the attic, and went on with the party.
Really, other than waking up wondering where my toga was, not much else happened at the party. Well, OK, yes, one other cool thing did happen. Maybe I left it out because of modesty, who knows.
When the party was at its fullest, me and the other dudes from Orange Hovercraft had a great idea for publicity. Everyones gear was in my room, since we practice at my place, and we grabbed it and hooked it up. After a few songs, everyone was chanting our name. We even played a few songs I wrote, despite our lack of practice with them. At The Afterparty, How Hard Could It Be, the whole 9 yards. Someday we'll record them, and I'll put them on here, but until then you'll just have to think of the best song you know and multiply it by a million. Then you might be in the general vicinity of how good our stuff is.
I swear, we're incredibly close to getting discovered. I guess I've just got to hope there was someone with some pull in the record industry in that crowd...because we put on a great show. It was short, but sweet.